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The Bachelorette Drinking Game

By John Clarke

While we were in the Domin­ican Repub­lic, Jo acci­dent­ally got addicted to ABC’s The Bach­el­or­ette. Nat­ur­ally, I’ve been obliged to watch every episode since.

“She’s so amazing and beau­ti­ful, I love her with all my heart. Do I wish we could spend more one-on-one time together? Abso­lutely!”

We’ve just fin­ished watch­ing an episode (it comes out Monday nights in America, so thank christ for SurfTheChan​nel​.com), but to spice it up a bit we came up with the fol­low­ing drink­ing game:

Drink whenever any of the fol­low­ing phrases are men­tioned:

Alone time/One-on-one time

All the blokes on the program will say this at least once each

Heart (as a metaphor)

This phrase is widerife among every­one. Hearts beating fast, etc, don’t count.

Absolutely (instead of "yes", not as a modifier)

Because in America, “Yes” isn’t extreme enough.

[Girl's name] looks/is beautiful/amazing

Again, all the blokes will say some­thing this obvious each episode.


This is a new addi­tion (09÷06÷2010), designed to replace some of the other rules as the series pro­gresses and the format changes. This phrase is pro­lific, so hard­core drink­ers only, please.

I know there’s only four rules, but it’s on for two whole hours (25% of which is adverts for incred­ibly cheap fast food — we also saw an amazing offer to buy six gallons of milk and get a seventh free — who the fuck is buying this much milk?! Anyway…) and the amount of repe­ti­tion and stating the obvious is truly mind blowing.

Don’t forget, I still want sug­ges­tions for my list of drugs blogs!.

One Response to The Bachelorette Drinking Game

  1. Thomas Joseph says:

    Good thing I didn’t see this until just now. Oth­er­wise I’d be an alco­holic!

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