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Science Joke Winners

By John Clarke

Everyone’s a winner who entered last weeks Science Joke Competition! Not in the sense that everyone wins a prize, but in the sense that maybe, just maybe, we’ve inspired someone, somewhere to do something vaguely scientific. So who did win a prize? …

The Winner


There is this farmer who is having problems with his chickens. All of the sudden, they are all getting very sick and he doesn’t know what is wrong with them. After trying all conventional means, he calls a biologist, a chemist, and a physicist to see if they can figure out what is wrong. So the biologist looks at the chickens, examines them a bit, and says he has no clue what could be wrong with them. Then the chemist takes some tests and makes some measurements, but he can’t come to any conclusions either. So the physicist tries. He stands there and looks at the chickens for a long time without touching them or anything. Then all of the sudden he starts scribbling away in a notebook. Finally, after several gruesome calculations, he exclaims, ‘I’ve got it! But it only works for spherical chickens in a vacuum.

The Runners Up


Wanted, dead AND alive: Schrödinger’s Cat


Some helium floats into a bar, the bartender says “We don’t serve helium in here.”

The helium doesn’t react.

Fantastic! Remember though, if you’re not from the UK and you want to claim your prize, you’ll have to send us a couple of quid to cover the postage. We’ll sort all that out later. I’ll be in touch soon, probably, although we are getting married in 6 days, so there might be a bit of a delay… :^|

I’ve got to go and write my speech now, so I’ll leave you with this brilliant sketch from That Mitchell & Webb Look:


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