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Science Joke Winners

By John Clarke

Everyone’s a winner who entered last weeks Science Joke Com­pet­i­tion! Not in the sense that every­one wins a prize, but in the sense that maybe, just maybe, we’ve inspired someone, some­where to do some­thing vaguely sci­entific. So who did win a prize? …

The Winner


There is this farmer who is having prob­lems with his chick­ens. All of the sudden, they are all getting very sick and he doesn’t know what is wrong with them. After trying all con­ven­tional means, he calls a bio­lo­gist, a chemist, and a phys­i­cist to see if they can figure out what is wrong. So the bio­lo­gist looks at the chick­ens, exam­ines them a bit, and says he has no clue what could be wrong with them. Then the chemist takes some tests and makes some meas­ure­ments, but he can’t come to any con­clu­sions either. So the phys­i­cist tries. He stands there and looks at the chick­ens for a long time without touch­ing them or any­thing. Then all of the sudden he starts scrib­bling away in a note­book. Finally, after several grue­some cal­cu­la­tions, he exclaims, ‘I’ve got it! But it only works for spher­ical chick­ens in a vacuum.

The Runners Up


Wanted, dead AND alive: Schrödinger’s Cat


Some helium floats into a bar, the bar­tender says “We don’t serve helium in here.”

The helium doesn’t react.

Fant­astic! Remem­ber though, if you’re not from the UK and you want to claim your prize, you’ll have to send us a couple of quid to cover the postage. We’ll sort all that out later. I’ll be in touch soon, prob­ably, although we are getting married in 6 days, so there might be a bit of a delay… :^|

I’ve got to go and write my speech now, so I’ll leave you with this bril­liant sketch from That Mitchell & Webb Look:


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