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5% Discount on Legal Highs, Salvia Divinorum and Everything Else From The Coffeesh0p

Shock Horror! Clubs Protect Own Interests!

By John Clarke

This week, clubs in Edin­burgh have banned legal highs, just in case someone dies! If they catch you getting high legally inside, you could get barred for up to 3 months. That’s the gist of the story, as repor­ted by The Sun and a few smaller news sites. Allow me to read between the lines…

BouncerNothing makes you want to drink more than already being pissed. “Yeah, sure *burp*, I’ll have one more. Actu­ally *hic*, better make it four…” (Of course, by “you”, I actu­ally mean the major­ity of the drink­ing pop­u­la­tion who don’t drink respons­ibly. If you eat before­hand, altern­ate between alcohol & soft drinks and stick to a pre­defined limit each night, then well done you, but read on anyway.) Unfor­tu­nately, legal highs don’t have that effect. Users tend to have a much better time without drink­ing. Either that, or the drink does nothing but give you a hangover, in the case of many legal stim­u­lants.  This would seem to be the real reason behind this latest move against legal highs. Which, I suppose, is fine in prin­cipal (you wouldn’t expect to bring your £6 bottle of Tesco Value vodka into a club, would you?), but at least have the balls to admit it. Not coming clean makes them look far worse, because as we all know, alcohol is far more likely to kill you than most other drugs. Actu­ally, I bet more people have died from seizures in clubs because of the loud music and lights than have died from legal highs.

Another reason in the same vein is that some clubs want to protect their illegal drugs trade too. It sounds a bit con­spir­acy the­or­ist, I know, but some clubs def­in­itely do have their own supply of illegal drugs. You’d think a bunch of geezers covered with bling that hang out by the fucking bar would get kicked out at the first sign of dealing, but every time I’ve been to this par­tic­u­lar club, the same guys have been there, looking as shifty as they are reflect­ive. In another club we go to quite a bit, I’ve actu­ally seen first hand a drug dealer go up and ask a bouncer if he’s got any more pills, who then went to ask the guy behind the bar.

EcstasyAnd now for a final twist in the story… These days, “pills” rarely contain any illegal drugs at all! That’s right. Thanks to the increas­ing pop­ular­ity and avail­ab­il­ity of piperazines (such as the infam­ous BZP), acquir­ing a pill that con­tains any actual MDMA is nearly impossible. A popular favour­ite among dealers at the moment is a com­pound called mCPP (m-ChloroPhenylPiperazine), whose side effects include massive head­aches and nausea. It’s about 5 times cheaper for a chemist to make mCPP than MDMA, as none of the pre­curs­ors are restric­ted, so now about 50% of all the pills across Europe contain it. It seems this chem­ical alone is respons­ible for the tidal wave of sick that now flows from the toilets of decent clubs across the country.

Like I said, this move is accept­able in prin­ciple, but I wish they wouldn’t act like they’re doing every­one a favour. Next, they’ll take away our legal right to tap water in order to prevent that dreaded hyper-hydra­tion.

For­tu­nately though, there’s always evan­gel­ical Chris­tian­ity to turn to, as seen in this week’s episode of Chris­tian Drum ‘n’ Bass:


6 Responses to Shock Horror! Clubs Protect Own Interests!

  1. Mark says:

    ROFL that vid is hil­ari­ous. Good find mate.

  2. Mark says:

    I think i’ve seen all the ones on youtube now. After I watched this one, I spent most of last night watchin em on youtube. They just keep gettin better everytime i see em or maybe its just cos i love DNB.

    Also in rela­tion to your post (well sorta), the dealers where i live chucked a brick through the front window of the local head­shop. In the middle of day too but do ya think the cops did anythin? Did they fuck. They never do a damn thing even when they’ve been shown CCTV footage of guys steal­ing shit from the shop.

  3. sharon says:

    JC what an MC. His ravings caused my com­puter become para­lysed. I had to call in the rev­er­end to perform healing min­is­tra­tions on it (lie-I turned it off at the wall and turned it back on really).

    I don’t think you sound con­spir­acy the­or­ist. I think the shady guys want club­bers to buy only their drugs.

    I once heard a tale about the water being dis­con­nec­ted in a club to force people top buy the extor­tion­ally priced bottles of water from behind the bar. They were said to be sick of people having a great time in their club and not buying their stuff.

    I’ve got two pills in my medi­cine cup­board which someone gave me but I’m not going to eat them because I haven’t a clue what they’re made from. I wouldn’t be sur­prised if they’re this mcPP stuff you mention. I bet they’re not MDMA anyway.

    btw, you know how I despise that crap Talk to Frank website, well it’s made me angry again. I emailed them and asked them to post the inform­a­tion about the bad batch of 2C-B-FLY which came from Haupt-RC and they have not replied, but more import­antly they haven’t posted it on the site. What sort of a drugs edu­ca­tion site is it? I’m going to have to do a blog about Frank’s crap

  4. happyhigh says:

    I do under­stand everything your saying here, and they are all valid points, but I think the hardest thing about bring­ing your own legal highs to a club would be per­suad­ing the bouncer that it is in fact Charge and not Coke.

    I just looked at the talk to Frank site on the legal highs page and it is a ridicu­lous bit of pro­pa­ganda, trying to scare people from using legal highs by saying that ‘The Crazy Chemist’ makes them to give you seizures.

    And it lists Salvia as herbal ecstasy, when will this ever end?

  5. LJ says:

    It’s odd how little this was pub­li­cised in Edin­burgh. One club I used to fre­quent was raided every Sat­urday by the police, but remained open as there was never any­thing illegal found.

    Another place (The Hive, to any Edin­burgh people — the pre­vi­ous one being Siglo) is still very lax on legal highs. It may be a move by Unite, a crazy-ass city­wide nightclub cabal. If so, this is the least of their stupid decisions.

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