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We're Never Going On Holiday Again

By John Clarke
Mellon Udrigle Beach

Mellon Udrigle Beach

Last week me and my now ex-girl­friend (read on…) went on holiday to the west coast of Scot­land. With the last few weeks of uni­ver­sity looming over us like some kind of big, looming, stress­ful meta­phor, what better way to unwind than abandon­ing all work and revi­sion for a bit and going on holiday?



We started the week wan­der­ing round the grounds of Blair Castle and then headed up to Land­mark Forest Adven­ture Park, where we learned that ducks will jump for chips, among other things. There’s no way I can list everything we did there and not sound com­pletely lame, so have a look at their website instead. Day two we spent chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’ all cool on Mellon Udrigle beach, one of the best beaches ever, where me and my girl­friend got engaged! 😮

As if that wasn’t enough excite­ment for one week, day three was spent check­ing out a river that appears from nowhere, another awesome beach in Durness, Smoo cave, the best fish et chips in the country accord­ing to Rick Stein and Cor­rie­shal­loch gorge, a gaping hole in the ground, spanned by the flim­si­est of bridges.

Durness Beach

Durness Beach

Day four was a slow day — every­one was knackered. A quick run round the shops in the morning fol­lowed by another trip to Mellon Udrigle was about all we could handle.  The last day was a little more action packed. We went to Gair­loch, Red Point, yet another beach, Slat­tadale, a nice little wood­land walk,  and finally Inverewe Gardens, home to some pretty amazing plants, con­sid­er­ing it’s in Scot­land (appar­ently, it has some­thing to do with the weird cur­rents around there…) For those of you still think­ing “Who the hell would want to go to Scot­land? All it does is piss down”, let me just mention one more thing… On our last day, where we were was as hot as Bermuda, hotter than all of the UK and the major­ity of Europe. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

A big thanks to every­one who obvi­ously thought we did deserve a holiday and placed an order anyway! If it makes you feel any better about the delay, me and the soon-to-be misses were up all Sunday night pack­aging stuff — at one point we could barely move for envel­opes. Suffice to say, the Post Office shat their pants!

So, it’s back to the grind­stone for another few weeks then hope­fully we can get some inter­est­ing stuff hap­pen­ing with Coffeesh0p and this blog.

The view from Inverewe Gardens

The view from Inverewe Gardens

Thanks again!

Woop! 😀.

5 Responses to We're Never Going On Holiday Again

  1. Sharon says:

    Ahh, that’s lovely. While I’m not much of a one for having romances myself I buzz when other people fall in love and get married. Wishing you both the very best for your journey together. Beau­ti­ful photos too! Scot­land sure is an enchant­ing place. As for the weather; it’s not the first time I’ve heard that it can get baking hot there. A friend of mine once got badly sun­burnt on the shet­lands! Did you get any photos of the plants?

  2. Synchronium says:

    Cheers, Sharon!

    Here’s some plant photos if you’ve not seen them already. 🙂

  3. Billy .T. says:

    You might want to check out the song “The Beach At Red­point” by a scot­tish elec­tronic-duo known as “Boards Of Canada”. It could well be based on the exact some place you paid a visit to on your travels, con­grat­u­la­tions on the engage­ment by the way. All the best! Billy .T.

  4. Synchronium says:

    Billy: Thanks a lot for that! I listen to Boards of Canada quite a bit, actu­ally. I’ve also listened to that track several times, I’ve just never been aware of its name!
    I hope it is about that beach. I can’t think of any­where else it might be about.

    Thanks again for bring­ing that to my atten­tion.

    I wish Enigma or Portishead did one about Mellon Udrigle…

  5. DevilNumber7 says:

    I feel you maaaaan, I walked to wales form chester dude and I was alone so alone, I ate bread and drank soup think­ing should I starve myself to death, I noticed there were signs saying alot of weirdly spelt welsh words I couldn’t quite make any of it out at all but I still got to my des­tin­a­tion which was a beach called Aberd­aron South Wales. I had myself 2 sorts of bud and still ran out 2 days into my trip. In total, I walked about 60 – 70 miles of 109. I thought I did a good job but cried because I didn’t trust anyone to get me some Bud…lol so I went home after 5 days.

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